I’ve taken only three flights in the past year, all of them domestic short-hops and completely non eventful. That’s a record for me. In the wrong direction. I am really missing the long-haul experience of old. When international flights (beyond New Zealand) become available to Australians, I know the experience will be quite different. But I really hope that one surprisingly special element that I miss, returns.

Being a regular pointy end traveller, there is great joy in long flights, with utmost privacy, a big screen with a multitude of entertainment, great food and wine, and above all that, solitary me time cocooned in comfort, either upright or lying flat. No one to pester you, no one calling you, demanding your time. Just you and your indulgent pleasures amongst the soft hum of the airplane. So many wonderful things, they all make me happy, but like all good travel, it’s the extra, unexpected elements that often make a journey so rewarding. And they can also happen in the sky.

I’ve always paid particular attention to the cabin crew on long haul flights. Their confident professionalism and level of service has differed wildly, but in most instances my interactions and experiences with the crew have been good, and sometimes quite exceptional.

Overall, I find the position of flight attendant, or steward/stewardess, fascinating. Once considered glamorous in the “golden age of flying” in the 1960’s and 70’s, the role has changed with the explosion of air travel, with less perks, more hours in the air with much less free time spent at the destination before reboarding for a return or onward flight.

The thought of serving food to hundreds plus the constant demands of passengers alongside the cleaning of the lavatories is not something that many would choose to do as a career. It’s the flying to far flung lands that remains the attraction, however long the layover may be.

There are many in the position that hold their career as an absolute passion, so proud of their job and their airline. You can see this brimming from their personas, the best of them seemingly cool and calm and happy to be onboard. These are the ones that hold the greatest, most interesting conversations. A happy crew often leads to friendly banter. After all, they are trained in customer service, and friendly conversation with attractive confidence can leave a lasting impression.

When the cabin crew are in full flight during service, there is little time for chatting. Chats with passengers are however, considered part of the job for senior flight attendants, a quick introductory one as you settle into your cocoon upon boarding the plane, and a longer one just prior to landing, a little chit chat about your trip, your plans, perhaps some tips on your destination and a personal thank you for your loyalty with the carrier and flying with them that day.

All of this is par for the course for the crew, and as pleasant and professional as the chats are, everyone gets a turn, with often the same routine on show. But there are chats to be had at other times during the flight, for those willing. And I personally love to partake.

Singapore Airlines A380 Business Class cabin

I remember travelling on Singapore Airlines from Singapore to Colombo on Christmas Eve a few years back. It was not a very busy flight, and the few passengers up the front were quiet and tired, with the prospect of a few hours of sleep foremost in their minds. I wasn’t tired that evening, particularly excited about my week of beachside down time on the gorgeous shores of Southern Sri Lanka.

I was up for a chat. So it seemed, was the Singaporean chief flight attendant looking after the handful of passengers in Business Class. Our conversation began effortlessly, I was at the point of ordering a nightcap after a particularly satisfying dinner. Senior flight stewards have the art of idle chitchat down to a masterful art.

The questions came but were never intrusive. It’s a skill to understand the purpose of your trip, what you do for a living and the history of your travels without ever enquiring bluntly. The conversation leaned to how wonderful my hometown of Sydney is and that it’s the city the SQ Crew love to spend the most time in. The comparisons between Sydney and Singapore as places to live swiftly followed. The highly trained and very fine skill of small talk on full display.

The knowledge of senior flight attendants knows no bounds and they love to share expert tips about hidden eateries and stores that are off the tourist radar, a must to visit. They have a knack of making you feel as if you are the exclusive recipient of such secret information.

I thought I had done just about as much research as was possible for my Sri Lanka trip, but the steward that night tipped me off to some wonderful places to see and places to eat that fit so well into my itinerary.

It’s the quiet confidence of the crew that really shine if you’re lucky enough to have a one-on-one chat with them. Many have led fascinating lives, and many come from small villages in their home countries, growing up with the desire to see the world, from a past where it was likely just a distant dream. Gaining their job with the airline and training for many has been a life high point. Many have shared with me their personal journeys and I have felt privileged to have been told such humble and inspiring back stories.

I love flying on public holidays, the planes are often less than half full, the crew cruising through the flight, much more relaxed and up for a personal chat with you. Some of my best chats have been amongst the incredibly calm, attractive, and highly polished crew of Singapore Airlines. For me, it’s always a bonus to indulge in long, informative, and often humorous chats with them. Being a solo traveller on most occasions I am often singled out for long term chatting. I am happy to oblige. The striking thing is that the best crews can not only chat just about anything, but their extensive knowledge in many fields also often surprises.

One of my flights on Qatar Airways in 2019 was on the fantastic A350-900, upfront in their groundbreaking Q-Suites, what I consider to be the world’s best Business Class. Two very handsome senior male stewards looked after the full cabin, dressed, and styled immaculately, wearing large expensive timepieces, and carrying an air of complete sophistication. Boy, do impressions count. But could they pull off unrivalled service?

What proved to me that they could came when it was time for drinks service. Qatar has a lovely bound Wine Menu, impressively presented with sufficient information on the available bottles for anyone to make a personal decision. Having a good knowledge of wine, the list had an excellent choice, and it didn’t take me long to sort out what I would have throughout the flight and in what sequence.

When the steward assigned to our side of the cabin came to take my order, I told him what I had planned and he commended my choices, and then really surprised me by displaying quite a profound knowledge of the finest nuances of the wines, adding further acknowledgment that I had not only chosen well, but that I was in for some great drops.

I was amazed at his wine knowledge, and from what I could see, the other steward also had a thorough understanding of the flight’s offerings. These guys were not sommeliers. Nor were they big wine lovers. They had deeply studied the wines on offer to ensure the finest selection to match the food a passenger chooses, and had a great ability to sway your choice into ever better territory, and with my order of drinking that night, did just that. I was most impressed.

This was another example of such professionalism, far beyond the standard routines expected of a crew, in the ability to talk through with a passenger in a friendly, calm and knowing manner, never abrupt or intruding on one’s own considerations. Another fine example of the fine art of the trained “chat”.

I have yet to fly internationally on one of my preferred carriers during this pandemic, as we are unable to do so, to date. When I finally do, I know it will be very different. I do feel that the crew will be so ready for chats again to reconnect with passengers. I imagine many have truly missed the human connection.

Sadly, one of the cruelest aspects of the pandemic has been the robbery of their smiles by the forced but necessary use of masks. It’s very hard to connect with someone when half their face is covered. Getting a sense of someone and that quick level of acceptance that a person is ok is lessened and we find it harder to create a sense of who they are.

Masked up - Singapore Airlines Business Class

Consider Singapore Airlines, a company built on the smiles of their crew. Their brand no doubt has faced added hardship based on the absence of that alone. Masks are here to stay, probably for a lot longer than we ever anticipated. The crew must now only smile with their eyes. If any crew can manage that and still retain the warmth they radiate, it would be those of that national carrier, my number one overall airline up until the world turned upside down.

The ever smiling Singapore Airlines cabin crew

The chats will return, but there will be some way to go before we are all relaxed enough to enjoy them without the spectre of what we have endured and still may continue to do so for a while longer. We are all looking forward to our human connection returning and the great natural conversations that flow between us, both on the ground and up in the air.